It’s amazing how quickly the memory of pain fades if we allow ourselves to be present before, during and after. I like the unconventional shape of my story, that I can make myself laugh during a panic attack, forgive things society calls unforgivable and be playfully sarcastic with god in the midst of an existential…Read more 44
mental health
Cherished
Cherish: 1. To hold or treat as dear; feel love for 2. To care for tenderly; nurture 3. To cling fondly or inveterately (deeply rooted) to God is Love- 1 John 4 I am my beloved and my beloved is mine- Song of Solomon We are his cherished, personal treasures.-Deuteronomy 14 Cherish your faith-Jude 1…Read more Cherished
Illuminatus
“Why are some of our lights off and others on, despite whatever a bunch of lab rats did when they were trapped alone in cages with piles of cocaine and Twinkies? The thing is, we’re not lab rats, and some of us won’t succumb to Twinkies or coke no matter how many times they try…Read more Illuminatus
Home
By the time I left for college, my family had moved nine times. I used to have a recurring nightmare of running down a street holding a cardboard box that was falling apart with each stride. Between college and the couch I’m currently sitting on, I’ve moved thirteen times, been briefly homeless and survived an…Read more Home
What Happened
Several years ago I got to hear Dr. Bruce Perry tell the story of a little boy named Jesse. I stood next to a potted tree in a crowded conference room as adrenaline perfunctorily coursed through my veins. That was my routine baseline back then. It was normal for my heart to beat like a…Read more What Happened
Heart to Heart
Pardon the bleeding heart. Mercury’s in retrograde…again. But sincerely, the essence of all healing is finding our way back to Love. We can’t love anyone or anything, until we figure out how to love ourselves. Whether it was brutal, gruesome trauma, or the subtle erosion of moving from a secure and nourishing childhood into the…Read more Heart to Heart
Wondering
Or, is being trauma-informed the essence of enlightened Love, which is what some of us call God? But first, a little context. Back in the late 90’s two white, male doctors conducted a study out of Kaiser-Permanete and essentially discovered an irrefutable link between childhood adversity and adult health outcomes. The study, Adverse Childhood Experiences,…Read more Wondering
Gold
Binge watching global human excellence, and this breath of pure and priceless wisdom is the best of it all. My therapist is also a sports psychologist. We were talking about the intersections of trauma, threshold anxiety, and the general terror that comes from attempting to be our authentic self (for me anyway…my inner child constantly…Read more Gold
Sip
Recovery forces us to admit, out loud, to an unconditional witness, the secrets we keep, even to ourselves which previously allowed us to justify various dysfunctional behaviors that had once served the function of saving our lives but would eventually kill us, literally, figuratively, or both. I realized my eating disorder had turned my body…Read more Sip
Radically accepting people and the world as it is, as they are, empowers everyone and everything to exist in the dignity of their absoluteness. Tornados, oppression, open wounds; they’re all on, albeit violent, trajectories back to Love and, we don’t have to stand in their path as energetic ramparts. Who can argue with the will…Read more