After my first divorce I got hit with a bout of full blown clinical depression. It felt like I swallowed a half ton magnet that was either trying to pull me into the center of an eternal void or electrocute me. So, not the funnest time. Because I’m a therapist, I knew I needed to…Read more Ride On
CPTSD
Wild
Roughly twenty years ago I tripped over this book on the floor of Bunch of Grapes; a shop on the vineyard. Later that night I succumbed to the most nurturing, nourishingly magical idea of moving to the farthest corner of the country, getting lost in a forest dripping with moss and being adopted by the…Read more Wild
Ghost Story
Hunger is just a mask for shame. We blame ourselves for the wounds that make them incapable of reciprocity; chronically apologizing, appeasing, guessing at what’s normal and attempting to predict or anticipate their every need. Intergenerational nightmares are the real monster. If we’d just turn on the light and collectively console ourselves, paradise, as it…Read more Ghost Story
Shinrin-Yoku
Your roots teach us The meaning and stability of secure attachment That through grounding We too can grow Your leaves invite us To trust the cyclical nature of life That surrender is not goodbye But rather a requirement for evolution Your buds, blossoms and seeds Remind us to feed ourself And thank, not only the…Read more Shinrin-Yoku
Safe
Home Plate, Photo Credit: Nathan Vines It’s taken half a lifetime to afford the stability that allowed me to tackle the hardest parts of my healing. Things are relatively more peaceful but the blooming onion of life has a hell of a lot of layers. Pass the fancy sauce. There’s a reason we find ourselves…Read more Safe
Golden
Miracles surface when we keep going and humbly surrender to this bizarre experience called life. Less becomes plenty. Chaos transforms into peace. Unfathomable pain is cured. Questions answer themselves and one day there’s nothing left to do but look into the light and whisper ‘I wonder what will happen next.’ I wish it hadn’t taken…Read more Golden
Fall
The moon rises In Pisces As retrograde Libra Attempts to leave her In pieces on the front porch Of confessions through a screened door Forgive me mother, father, brother, sister For I have sinned against Harvested orgasms Organs Silently screaming At the incisions Of hot and cold karmic seasons Where gaslit fires blaze With misguided…Read more Fall
Believe
Photo credit: Nathan Vines Once upon a time, I tried explaining my ‘container belief’ theory to my therapist. For whatever reason, when I’m the client, I lose all capacity to make rational sense and instead ramble on in half-baked metaphors loosely beaten with full blown emotion. She’s somehow always understood me and for that I’ll…Read more Believe
Holes
Photo credit: Nathan Vines The ones you made in the wall Where we compressed unanswered questions Between skin and printed memories Incomplete stories Haunt the space that embraces What’s left Inside the holes made In your body A bloody cave Seeps into the empty tomb Feeling up Necrotic wombs Breeding generations of unhealed wounds Where…Read more Holes
Contortionist
noun: contortionist; plural noun: contortionists an entertainer who twists and bends their body into strange and unnatural positions. Contortion is a performance art in which performers called contortionists showcase their skills of extreme physical flexibility. Contortion acts often accompany acrobatics, circus acts, street performers and other live performing arts. Contortion acts are typically performed in…Read more Contortionist