My therapist said I looked like Carole King today. (Therapists have therapists.) Now I can’t stop singing, ‘I wanna be home again and feeling right.’ Is enlightenment ‘home’? Are we ‘home’ if we rent? Is home a person, place or thing? Listened to part of a dharma talk this morning on Right Desire...repressed wants and…Read more Dharma Snacks
Anorexia
Hunger hurts but starving works when it costs too much to love.- Fiona Apple
Mal Nuit
The smell of the sheets gave her away. She's a stripper. (I love my sisters) Why are we in her bed? There's no where else to sleep. It could hardly be called a bed, though this was sadly, infuriatingly familiar. A mattress pad on the floor of some glorified closet. Had I learned nothing? Had…Read more Mal Nuit
Fire Bird
Swallow the son Shine Your sin is not my shade Fly Ignited alive On paper This trauma mastery is a dime bag of bull shake Holy Shit! For Fox sake Your fragile egos Eat sensationalized lies For breakfast, lunch and Donner Inglorious gluttony Insatiable beasts Running at break neck speed A spectrum of death Walking,…Read more Fire Bird
Drop in the Ocean
Hue manatees See cows? Think you can break my art With horror stories Of motel swine exchanges For ass and cash The please we leave behind paintings, Suicide notes Of still lives Harbors Resentment Rent the price we pay For fear of never becoming who we were destined to be I will be the answer…Read more Drop in the Ocean
Blue
Anyone else plagued by waves of shame and guilt? Like you did something wrong, you’re in big, big trouble but you don’t know what you did and also, you’re not 5 anymore? Yea, me too. It’s normal. One of the many joys of surviving complex trauma is fearing punishment for crimes we didn’t commit. The…Read more Blue
Running
Our sweet baby boy is having surgery on Monday. Tonight he had his last bath with four legs. If it weren’t for all hell breaking loose in the world, I’d be crying but my emotional faucet is shut off until further notice. Dissociating is my survival superpower. There’s no such thing as down time or…Read more Running
Be Ok
How are you? I've found it hard to think, read, sleep and even talk sometimes the past few days. For those of us with trauma histories, the current situation is pushing all our buttons. Why? Because trauma once threatened our sense of safety and control in the world, and now, it's happening all over again.…Read more Be Ok
