Everything after birth Bends life Like light refracting off road maps Blinding us Between moon phases Sun rises and settings In dry, desperate, dragon-clouded deserts Deaths, divorces, transplants, pandemics and whatever it means To recover from existential separation The Source From which we can never be Truly divided Shame, shadow, blame, guilt Holy redemption Broken…Read more Golden Slumbers
recovery
Font
The healing powers of water are too easily forgotten until the moment we find ourselves submerged and are forced to remember. We remember the importance of breathing, of silence, of surrender to holy be-ingness. Weightless, worryless and unencumbered by the busyness of endless tasks that devour each week leaving us little more than smoldering ash.…Read more Font
People, Please
The roots of my people-pleasing began in the lap of a pedophile not soon after an otherwise healthy child would be uttering the word no. For roughly a decade I complied with his advances because I’d seen what happened to the people around him, grown adults in much bigger bodies than my own at the…Read more People, Please
Child’s Pose
Eventually, carrying around the weight of the world took its toll on my back. Apparently it has something to do with parentification, years of public service, a pandemic and perimenopause. I don’t actually care what caused the pain. At this point, I just want it to stop, for all of us. You’re hurting. I hear…Read more Child’s Pose
Ride On
After my first divorce I got hit with a bout of full blown clinical depression. It felt like I swallowed a half ton magnet that was either trying to pull me into the center of an eternal void or electrocute me. So, not the funnest time. Because I’m a therapist, I knew I needed to…Read more Ride On
Ghost Story
Hunger is just a mask for shame. We blame ourselves for the wounds that make them incapable of reciprocity; chronically apologizing, appeasing, guessing at what’s normal and attempting to predict or anticipate their every need. Intergenerational nightmares are the real monster. If we’d just turn on the light and collectively console ourselves, paradise, as it…Read more Ghost Story
Safe
Home Plate, Photo Credit: Nathan Vines It’s taken half a lifetime to afford the stability that allowed me to tackle the hardest parts of my healing. Things are relatively more peaceful but the blooming onion of life has a hell of a lot of layers. Pass the fancy sauce. There’s a reason we find ourselves…Read more Safe
Golden
Miracles surface when we keep going and humbly surrender to this bizarre experience called life. Less becomes plenty. Chaos transforms into peace. Unfathomable pain is cured. Questions answer themselves and one day there’s nothing left to do but look into the light and whisper ‘I wonder what will happen next.’ I wish it hadn’t taken…Read more Golden
Believe
Photo credit: Nathan Vines Once upon a time, I tried explaining my ‘container belief’ theory to my therapist. For whatever reason, when I’m the client, I lose all capacity to make rational sense and instead ramble on in half-baked metaphors loosely beaten with full blown emotion. She’s somehow always understood me and for that I’ll…Read more Believe
Holes
Photo credit: Nathan Vines The ones you made in the wall Where we compressed unanswered questions Between skin and printed memories Incomplete stories Haunt the space that embraces What’s left Inside the holes made In your body A bloody cave Seeps into the empty tomb Feeling up Necrotic wombs Breeding generations of unhealed wounds Where…Read more Holes