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CPTSD
Providence
On January 10th I delivered my grandmother’s eulogy. Six days later my godfather passed away. And hours after battling some nightmare combination of food poisoning, exhaustion and flu, I lost my voice. What did I say? What did I leave out? She reminded me…when you moved away it got hard to hear you. But then…Read more Providence
Soumission
It’s no surprise the French have 17 words for surrender. Hopeless, existential romantics either say nothing or too much. Say less. May my silence echo in your mouth where my name used to be. Or at least, that’s what I imagine hopelessly existential romantic French people say when they’re dreapeau blanc-ing, white flagging on someone…Read more Soumission
PSA
Some of us spend our lives living in a crime scene. Here are some things to remember: It wasn’t our fault if our body went limp and we never fought back. We’re not a terrible awful person if we can’t sleep, can’t look at our own face for a few years, can’t eat, can’t stop…Read more PSA
Ride On
After my first divorce I got hit with a bout of full blown clinical depression. It felt like I swallowed a half ton magnet that was either trying to pull me into the center of an eternal void or electrocute me. So, not the funnest time. Because I’m a therapist, I knew I needed to…Read more Ride On
Wild
Roughly twenty years ago I tripped over this book on the floor of Bunch of Grapes; a shop on the vineyard. Later that night I succumbed to the most nurturing, nourishingly magical idea of moving to the farthest corner of the country, getting lost in a forest dripping with moss and being adopted by the…Read more Wild
Ghost Story
Hunger is just a mask for shame. We blame ourselves for the wounds that make them incapable of reciprocity; chronically apologizing, appeasing, guessing at what’s normal and attempting to predict or anticipate their every need. Intergenerational nightmares are the real monster. If we’d just turn on the light and collectively console ourselves, paradise, as it…Read more Ghost Story
Shinrin-Yoku
Your roots teach us The meaning and stability of secure attachment That through grounding We too can grow Your leaves invite us To trust the cyclical nature of life That surrender is not goodbye But rather a requirement for evolution Your buds, blossoms and seeds Remind us to feed ourself And thank, not only the…Read more Shinrin-Yoku
Safe
Home Plate, Photo Credit: Nathan Vines It’s taken nearly half a lifetime to afford the stability that allowed me to tackle the hardest parts of my healing. Things are relatively more peaceful but the blooming onion of life has a hell of a lot of layers. Pass the fancy sauce. There’s a reason we find…Read more Safe
