I remember sitting here

Staring at the mirror across the room

Looking for you

Every step above my head

Scanning the silence for your next move

The carpet would groan

Followed by cursing that came in waves

Like the ones you’d caught

That weekend we were happy

And I believed you loved me

Or was it my couch

From grounding stone

To battering ram

Mistaking immobility for indifference

Because your paranoia placed me in the projection of every nightmare you’d ever survived

In spite of everything I’d done to convince your demons I was not the monster they needed me to be

From once upon a time

To form 750

I told you, I can’t be your darkness

And here I was

Desperately searching the walls for your shadow

Not once did I consider calling for help

Barricading myself in my own home

This is your fucking house!

I just stay here!

To protect

Not me

But you

When I finally returned

Everything was frozen

It wasn’t until Spring

After time

In the warmth of the Son

All the water melted

Water water everywhere

But not a drop to drink

The waves catch me off guard now

All hours of everyday and

Sleepless night

Most of which is spent sitting here

Staring at the mirror across the room

Looking for you~