Healing is the process of exchanging one kind of pain for another. Here's to celebrating the pain, warmth, grief and love of the blinding light; birth, death and resurrection. Kyle and I spent the day recreating this painting: "You didn’t understand what I am. I am love. I am pleasure. I am essence. I am…Read more Imitating Art
Good Mourning
I used to get so mad at Buddhism and obviously still fight with most of my daily devotions. Buddha and Jesus, just laughing and taking naps while the world is killed to death by assholes and germs. Incidentally, those two things appear to be closely related. Hey guys! What the heck are we supposed to…Read more Good Mourning
Blue
Anyone else plagued by waves of shame and guilt? Like you did something wrong, you’re in big, big trouble but you don’t know what you did and also, you’re not 5 anymore? Yea, me too. It’s normal. One of the many joys of surviving complex trauma is fearing punishment for crimes we didn’t commit. The…Read more Blue
Lean on Me
Two weeks ago we said goodbye to one of Ratchet's legs; legs that had run and hiked miles of trails all the way from Astoria, along the coast of the Pacific Northwest, the mountains of the Cascade Biway, the city streets of Portland and Seattle, even right down the center of Extraterrestrial Highway. Those…Read more Lean on Me
Status Update
The Manhattans count as gospel, by the way. Let’s just kiss and say goodbye...I don’t know if it was the lyrics or those blue suits, whatever it was, it worked. Good grief. I grieved for the last time we went for a coffee walk as a family, when Bubs still had four legs. The last…Read more Status Update
Running
Our sweet baby boy is having surgery on Monday. Tonight he had his last bath with four legs. If it weren’t for all hell breaking loose in the world, I’d be crying but my emotional faucet is shut off until further notice. Dissociating is my survival superpower. There’s no such thing as down time or…Read more Running
The Message
I could not sleep. Ratchet was having a panic attack; panting hard, shifting around in pain and shaking. He knows something's wrong but he can't talk about it...because he's a dog. He's not worried about global viruses or running out of toilet paper. It's the bump on his leg. We had the biopsy last Thursday.…Read more The Message
Be Ok
How are you? I've found it hard to think, read, sleep and even talk sometimes the past few days. For those of us with trauma histories, the current situation is pushing all our buttons. Why? Because trauma once threatened our sense of safety and control in the world, and now, it's happening all over again.…Read more Be Ok
I Scream
I Scream. You Scream. We All Scream for gluten free zucchini cupcakes with butter scream frosting. #butterscream #iscream #scream #mermaid #shemade #hermade #she #her #baptism
Sonflowers
This mourning I wrote, then sang, spoke and painted, after waking too soon from a tumultuous dream. All in all a good day. xo
Born in Providence 