Mute meant obedience All it really meant was cold compliance Dissociation was a welcomed relief where inconvenient rage, terror and consequence should have rightly taken their place Amidst intolerable offense Your lack of accountability is intolerable But what's left To rage against? Hollow egos incapable of bearing the weight of their own shame? Broken brittle…Read more Hum
CPTSD
Memento
Calcified carcass Abandoned by the body An amorphous sucker One born Every day Buried under water weight And all she ate When they were still Attached at the hip Descending deeper down By relentless dictation Of her Mother's illusive light She's empty Fractured Concave Hollow An irregular mathematical miracle Who'll collect dust Mute memento Decorating…Read more Memento
Signs
Rolling Stone wanted to know why a certain song Dylan wrote was covered by everyone. I knew my answer without reading their explanation. It was the only authentic witness I'd ever given, until I wrote my book. If you know what a witness is, hey. If not, welcome. It's your redemption story, followed by a…Read more Signs
Locus of Control
Trust the ultimate trust fund-Colossians 3:23 My body's a twisted wreck. I couldn't stop the urge to cry when she jabbed her thumb into the protruding discs in my neck. It was the muscle spasms that finally forced my tingling fingers to hit call and make the appointment. Shoulders don't belong under your ears but…Read more Locus of Control
Homeless
He said stuff like that happens to everybody. Minimization and globalization are survival tactics. You have a fight with a parent. You couch surf. Maybe sleep in your car. I didn't have a license till I was 29. I didn't own a car till I was thirty something. But I did live on an island…Read more Homeless
Parallel Process
You know the part of the story where the main character decides to ride or die? That's the part I wrote about, again, today. We're perpetually faced with decisions in divided roads. My stomach has been unsettled for the past month. Some mix of stress, work, genetics and my foolish, lifelong fork war. The gift…Read more Parallel Process
The Trip of a Lifetime
I hate flying, all that turbulence and being strapped into a ride or die situation with no control over anything. Despite the screaming, shaking, seat kicking, neck spasming, ultimate discomfort of hurtling through space with nothing but jet fuel and some underpaid pilot attempting to defy the laws of gravity; I have this innate yearning…Read more The Trip of a Lifetime
Drift
Some places, the far away and familiar, help us remember who we are, despite the world helping us forget. My eyes, skin, hair and soul have craved home for close to a decade; probably longer if you count the existential pangs of birth. Bloody mess. The desert parched more than paper; bleaching ever exposing bone…Read more Drift
Not Buying It
Healing from complex trauma while moving up the food chain is like running a marathon across a mountain range. No time for souvenir shopping or group sing-alongs. The third and fourth shift are waiting. Hurry up! There's a reason we're tired. Well intended self-help gurus ultimately hurt because they fail to address the blanket of…Read more Not Buying It
Healing Trauma Conference
The story I shared over a year ago inspired two local women, Susanne Frilot and Cheryl Mills, to create the first annual Healing Trauma Conference, which brought together over 38 practitioners with a wide variety of gifts to share with over 120 people who sacrificed an entire Saturday for a free day of learning and…Read more Healing Trauma Conference
