Hurting ourselves or hurting others is a knee-jerk reaction to being hurt. Survival reflex til we wake up, take the reigns and say: Enough. Only to discover that’s not enough either.
Solstice under a full moon is a good time for releasing the need to hurt and replace it with Love. How many times do we have to say it?
Easier said than done but consider the alternatives.
The primary question I’ve wrestled with as a human and clinician who’s stuffed my head to overflowing searching for the answer: Why can some of us connect to and grow that Love from within while others just scrap, claw, consume, attempt devour from the outside in, no matter how much they get? For reasons beyond research or comprehension, the world fails to satisfy the cavern in their soul.
We’re all wounded. The original fracture happened a billion light-years ago. Ok. Fine. Let’s get to the good part. Drown our hollow bones in milk and honey already. We get it! What more is there to figure out? We all posses the same power, fallibility, weakness, fear, shame, rage, ache, gifts, light…so…big universe, you made your point. We surrender.
Born in Providence 
Thanks for the note. I think it’s the first time in my life that I might be falling in love with myself in a deeper way. Discovering that I’ve been ignoring parts of myself worth listening to, parts that I used to see as nervous warnings, but once listened to have calmed down to help the mosaic which is me. I don’t remember ever feeling this calm. Maybe I had, earlier in life. But now it feels new. It’s time to hold it as long as I can, to integrate it, manifest it into my reality. This might sound vague. But it really does have some indescribable qualities. I wish more people could experience it. Everyone has their path. Many of us can choose to search for a better one. Even those who are lost, there are people in the world that offer healthy community. I think healthy community is the cure for our ills, just a guess. Here’s a quick note on dating (though I wasn’t addicted, just a participant): I believe online dating is about the coldest reach humanity can take. It’s like shopping. There are so many choices, how we become a deer in the headlights making quick judgements, focusing our energy on carefully constructed paragraphs of text and imagery. I wonder how many perfect matches I passed on, because of one aspect or another. Do you think healthy community would help this?
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Always good to hear from you Brand. I think you’re spot on; a compassionate, healthy, trauma-informed/enlightened community could change the world. We are the community, each one of us, so it’s a little bit of ‘who goes first?’ As you become more loving towards yourself, it becomes easier to love others; or at least, that’s the hope. But it’s easier to love ourselves in a world that reflects our worth back to us. That’s why I advocate for trauma-informed media. If the news and advertising told a holistic human story (as opposed to biased gossip, public humiliation and drama) it could heal shame, educate people, and promote meaningful inclusion.
I also agree with you on dating apps being like shopping (cringe). We need organic connections. I suppose digital dating has its place but none of us want to be so quickly judged, I would think?
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On dating, YES! We all want to be liked. I keep thinking, “If you knew me, you’d like me.” I’m guessing that’s a prevalent thought, in general for people. On trauma-informed media, I’ve not heard of it. Sounds interesting. I’ll look it up! My best!
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I might’ve invented trauma-informed journalism 😁
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Go with it! It sounds like it could be something worth developing. 😀
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As for the dating thoughts, you sound confident. Good for you! 😊
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Oh! I swear off internet dating every few months… It’s a pattern that’s starting to make sense to me. But I think this time I might be past it. I don’t know if I need another person with me. I mentioned to a friend, yesterday, that it would be nice to have someone I could be comfortable to talk it out with. Not like a therapist. Already have one. This would be a friend beyond friendship. I think it would be pretty difficult to find online, anywhere really. So the best choice is to go on with my life and if something happens, it’s because they want to know me.
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