Authenticate: Prove to be true or genuine Validate Verify In the quest for survival we strive to prove, validate and verify that we are. All my atoms have miraculously gathered themselves into the solid mass of a walking, talking, conscious being. I think I've come together quite nicely, incidentally. What additional proof do they need…Read more Authenticate
J
“he never says anything off the top of his head”
― Alice Walker, The Color Purple
Mal Nuit
The smell of the sheets gave her away. She's a stripper. (I love my sisters) Why are we in her bed? There's no where else to sleep. It could hardly be called a bed, though this was sadly, infuriatingly familiar. A mattress pad on the floor of some glorified closet. Had I learned nothing? Had…Read more Mal Nuit
Drop in the Ocean
Hue manatees See cows? Think you can break my art With horror stories Of motel swine exchanges For ass and cash The please we leave behind paintings, Suicide notes Of still lives Harbors Resentment Rent the price we pay For fear of never becoming who we were destined to be I will be the answer…Read more Drop in the Ocean
Imitating Art
Healing is the process of exchanging one kind of pain for another. Here's to celebrating the pain, warmth, grief and love of the blinding light; birth, death and resurrection. Kyle and I spent the day recreating this painting: "You didn’t understand what I am. I am love. I am pleasure. I am essence. I am…Read more Imitating Art
Good Mourning
I used to get so mad at Buddhism and obviously still fight with most of my daily devotions. Buddha and Jesus, just laughing and taking naps while the world is killed to death by assholes and germs. Incidentally, those two things appear to be closely related. Hey guys! What the heck are we supposed to…Read more Good Mourning
Blue
Anyone else plagued by waves of shame and guilt? Like you did something wrong, you’re in big, big trouble but you don’t know what you did and also, you’re not 5 anymore? Yea, me too. It’s normal. One of the many joys of surviving complex trauma is fearing punishment for crimes we didn’t commit. The…Read more Blue
Lean on Me
Two weeks ago we said goodbye to one of Ratchet's legs; legs that had run and hiked miles of trails all the way from Astoria, along the coast of the Pacific Northwest, the mountains of the Cascade Biway, the city streets of Portland and Seattle, even right down the center of Extraterrestrial Highway. Those…Read more Lean on Me
Running
Our sweet baby boy is having surgery on Monday. Tonight he had his last bath with four legs. If it weren’t for all hell breaking loose in the world, I’d be crying but my emotional faucet is shut off until further notice. Dissociating is my survival superpower. There’s no such thing as down time or…Read more Running
The Message
I could not sleep. Ratchet was having a panic attack; panting hard, shifting around in pain and shaking. He knows something's wrong but he can't talk about it...because he's a dog. He's not worried about global viruses or running out of toilet paper. It's the bump on his leg. We had the biopsy last Thursday.…Read more The Message
Be Ok
How are you? I've found it hard to think, read, sleep and even talk sometimes the past few days. For those of us with trauma histories, the current situation is pushing all our buttons. Why? Because trauma once threatened our sense of safety and control in the world, and now, it's happening all over again.…Read more Be Ok
Born in Providence 