I feel naked 

When my dog’s not by my side 

Can’t do anything without Him

God knows why

Yet He only seems to care about me when I have something for him

Always barking in my face

Do this!

Do that!

For what?

Get nothing in return 

Except clean up his shit

Make his food

Pay his bills

And He just drags us around 

Go here

Go there

Squirrel!

Burrow, build, break down

Disappear 

Collecting zip codes

He’s always running ten steps ahead 

Unless he wants something to grind on

Object of his affection indeed

say it’s love 

Yet we’re pummeled with lessons and side quests, side piece, no peace 

destination or reward 

Fuck crowns in heaven

Have you seen what it costs to be here now?

Be here now 

After decades of trauma on top of trauma

Little deaths are the pauses between breaths  

And he calls that a gift? 

For what?

For who?

For the isolating solitude that follows 

Every chore 

Every score 

Chop wood

Carry water

No sleep 

No sex

No help 

No food

An orthorexic existence 

That somehow brings monks to tears 

Oh we’re crying alright 

Church, yoga, woods, dogs 

Yes we saw the feather, the lightening, nest, moon, dreams, flowers, fiddleheads 

Such a sign

Such a wonder 

But then nothing happened! 

You just destroyed the place 

Meanwhile had to empty the dishwasher and go to work 

grazed my ankles with the cool wind of your presence 

How is that sufficient 

All things considered? 

A cosmic blow job is supposed to bring reassurance?

Validation? 

I do not want what I have not got

Kibble nibble novenas 

Naw

Pay me first! 

You said prosperity! 

You said protection!

You said peace! 

Said a lot things left unsaid 

And I chanted every spell

directly into your eyes in the mirror 

And still

Nothing happened

So please

 don’t whisper at my feet

…Take a walk 

With you?

I have been 

all my life 

Footprints are tired 

Dogs are tired 

Mutt is tired 

So we’ll sit right here

And wait for the ride~