Some of us spend our lives living in a crime scene.

Here are some things to remember:

It wasn’t our fault if our body went limp and we never fought back.

We’re not a terrible awful person if we can’t sleep, can’t look at our own face for a few years, can’t eat, can’t stop eating or have occasionally eaten out of the trash.

We’re not lazy or disgusting if we wound up homeless…a few times.

We’re still loveable, even after multiple divorces, breakups, hookups and situationships.

We’re not bad or wrong for telling the truth even if everyone we told got mad and left us.

We’re not crazy or weak, even if after years of really trying to heal, it still hurts.

We’re not a trainwreck just because we cut ourselves to feel normal, feel anything or to punish ourselves for daring to want to be loved.

We’re not overly dramatic idiots just because we still wake up screaming sometimes.

We’re not big stupid babies, even if after years of therapy, we still check every lock on every window and every door, especially the bathroom.

We’re not a failure even if we can’t fully recover and our labs are shit again because our nervous system is exhausted and surviving is the best we can do and the only thing that can fix it is more iron infusions and we’re scared cause infusion rooms are lonely.

We’re not gross, dirty or ugly just because all our firsts were stolen from us at a time when we didn’t even know what any of it meant.

We’re none of the things society, or people who don’t understand or even our own inner critic tell us we are on really bad days.

We’re not ungrateful just because we haven’t yet manifested some Pinterest perfect life that every fucking guru says we can if we just try believing harder in vastly infinite possibilities of awesomeness.

We’re not faithless forgotten ghosts if we still have a pulse, even if it’s weak.

We’re not total bummers just because we still get sad.

We’re fully capable, competent adults even if we still get triggered, crawl into ball and bawl sometimes.

And, we’re not assholes accumulating bad karma for getting enraged at pure evil.

We’re gonna be ok.

Tomorrow’s another day.

Let’s stick around and see how good it gets.

Some not so fun facts:

• About 1 in 10 children will be sexually abused before they turn 18 *,+
• About 1 in 7 girls and 1 in 25 boys will be sexually abused before they turn 18*
• It is estimated that 7-12% of children are sexually abused*
• As many as 400,000 babies born in the U.S. this year will be sexually abused before their 18th birthday unless we do something to stop it

Source: Darkness to Light

In the weeks since releasing my book, many folks have reached out to share their thoughts, feelings and personal stories of lived experience. There aren’t enough words to express my thanks, love, reverence and enduring hope for your healing.

I’d worked with my own therapist for several years in preparation for the release, knowing difficult conversations were sure to follow. I continue to welcome them and figure we’re only getting started.

The one question that continues to be asked is Why did you write it?

I wrote it so that no other child or family has to endure the same nightmare.

I wrote it to expose the brutal reality of healing from complex trauma while attempting to crawl out of poverty within an oppressive, capitalist meritocracy.

I wrote it to flip the script on shame.

I wrote it because I thought you might need it.

I wrote it because I needed it.

I wrote it to stop the voices.

I wrote it with the hope of giving birth to the radical acceptance and compassion required for world peace. Lofty goals. But why not.

I wrote it because I didn’t want to die with untold truth inside me.

And I hope, if you have a story, someday you feel safe and empowered enough to tell it.

~

Also I usually do way funner stuff on Friday nights but sometimes we gotta do hard things so later we can chill. Dance party with Charlie in about an hour. You’re invited🙌🏼💃🏻

Shine on pumpkin muffins xo