Glitter: NEVER.

Last night I came across an article on Publisher’s Weekly; a writer was all up in arms because publishers appear to have stuffed literature into slutty outfits and given them all bad stripper names. That’s a metaphor. Metaphors are like, really old.

I’ve been researching iconic book covers as part of getting ready to be ready. Classic literature, like timeless art, style, design and music, supersede novelty by refusing to settle for cheap tricks.

What’s a cheap trick?

Don’t you mean who? Ugh. Never mind.

Best Sell Outs:

£%#k Everything

100 Reasons Nothing is Your Fault

Your Pain is the Worst

How to Save the Planet by Ceasing to Exist

White Blonde Female Princess Wins at Life after Trivial but Relatable Hardship

White Male With the Biggest …Trust Fund Has A Complicated Adventure with Lasers and Hot Chicks

Non-Thinking Cat Book

Poop Jokes by C-List Comedians

I Love Glitter And So Do You So We Are Amazeballz!

If You Collect Buttons We Are Best Friends

How to Arm Knit Your Eco-Friendly Tiny House While Maintaining a BMI of 12

Trendiest Cover Of the Moment with No Plot

Exploited Trauma Story So You Can Feel Deep an’ Shit

Crap Writing by the BFF of a Sell Out Publisher Which You Should Buy So You Get Invited to the Launch Party

Ghost Written Memoir by That Famous Person

Lies My Publicist Told For Me

50 Ways Your Mother Failed You

How to Eat Bricks of Cheese and Still Lose Weight

Starve Yourself Immediately Or Die!

Fake Psychoanalysis About Your Vague Symptoms and Other Reasons You Don’t Have to Try at Life

Young Adult Drama Written for Adult-Children

The Agent Who Cashed in a Favor

Former Christian Writer Who Tries to Go Mainstream by Saying F

Bougie Coffee Table Books Of Staged Lives No One Really Lives

Twentysomething Vegan Travel Blogger Gets Book Deal Because Her Mango Chia Hemp Smoothies are Dope

Chad and Stacey’s Egalitarian Dating Guide

*disclaimer: these are all fakes titles but they made me laugh for reals

ps: Funnest writing prompt ever.

pps: We settle for cheap tricks cause we’re broke, desperate, traumatized or all of the above.

6 thoughts on “You’re Amazeballz!

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