Barely visible are the fading marks from cupping I had last weekend. This is a fancy thing you can pay for or do it yourself at home with glass jam jars and a Bic. Apparently sitting at a computer is hazardous to your spinal health. So is playing with fire. My neck hurts. I really want a comfy chair.

Only slightly less painful than having knots suctioned out of your back is writing a good book proposal. The only thing I loathe more than mornings are sales pitches. What a bizarre and oddly grotesque thing to turn your life story into a commercial so an agent will sell you to a publisher. I wish there were another way but such are the terms and conditions of the western world. Hey there sugar fingertips, show us your profits.

I might’ve mentioned once or twice that a man tried to buy me for his son. I said no, several times, possibly in more than one language since he didn’t seem to hear me. The difference between now and then is choice and dignity as I’m quite sure I get to keep my pants on throughout this entire transaction. Publishers are the ones afraid of losing their shirts. Art shouldn’t be so fraught with potential peril but alas, rent doesn’t grow on trees for most of us.

Dear book lords, I offer you this diamond in the rough, on a quilted box, will you publish me?

ps: I started this project one year and a day ago today, happy bookversary.

18 thoughts on “The Proposal

  1. This is so exciting! I can’t wait to buy your book E 🙂 Don’t they read books any more or is it a buffet of blurbs, and the tastiest author they will try? I guess the good thing about someone trying to buy you, you were worth being paid for, and not stolen? I am confident that you will come across just as tasty on paper as you do here on your blog, especially since you are writing it. 🙂

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    • Thanks Mags. ❤️ The path to traditional publishing is very competitive. You have to secure an agent and essentially turn your book into an industry standard sales pitch. The ‘By Mennen’ jingle is optional 😉 If they see promise in the proposal they’ll ask to see the manuscript. I’ve done all my homework and am going for it. There’s reason to be excited but that’s all I can say for now. 😁😁😁

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      • It is all about the money isn’t it. I guess they figure if you can manage an “industry standard sales pitch” then you will be a good promoter of all that is the book they are trying to sell, maybe? Cha-Ching. Money, money, money…money! Be happy you didn’t have to listen to me sing that 🙂 I know it’s about the bottom line for them but sad to think about all the great literature that never makes it to print. I feel after reading your blog, watching your interview, and the question panel you will nail it. You have the look, the personality and certainly the talent 🙂

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      • Aww Mags. Thanks for having faith in me. ❤️ But yes, they have to be sure it’s worth the investment. After being a therapist for years I’ve often wrestled with that line between wanting to help people and needing to pay my bills. I hate having to mix the two but also see the value in valuing what we have to give. My husband gets paid to fix motorcycles. My brothers get paid to fix plumbing. My sister gets paid to fix broken people parts.
        I’d prefer a system less underhanded than (whispering) capitalism as it can be pretty ruthless at times (healthcare for instance) but for now…when it Rome.
        I also agree there’s a ton of great artists, writers and musicians out there (I bet you have a lovely singing voice. Who sang money, money, money? I should know this.) that we never hear or read because they can’t or won’t on principle market themselves.
        Anyhoo, how’s your healing going? Still off your feet?

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      • The O’Jays sing that song.

        I think now-a-days it is more about being sure they will make money than catching that lightening in the bottle, take a chance attitude that has faded the more that the focus has shifted from hiring people who do well at what they do and hiring a person based on a degree. Don’t get me wrong degrees are great. But there are lots of talented people out there whose experience far outweigh what a piece of paper says they are worth. Look at hiring practices today You better have that “industry standard sales pitch” or they won’t even get in front of the person doing the hiring for an interview. Maybe that is why we get such substandard produces and services now verses say 20 or 30 years ago when a person had to “apply in person”

        “On the principal of it” I never understood just for the fact that if you have something that would enrich others you should try. I mean the grocery store has never given away food. The doctor doesn’t give away free medical services. Mechanics don’t work for free. Even in a barter system. If nothing else get your food in the door, get an “industry voice” then make the changes from the inside 🙂

        In a perfect world we would all just “share” but we both know that world exists only in books. Look we have worked our way back to literature 🙂 🙂

        I am doing…the best I can with what I am dealing with. Thank you for asking. I could complain but who wants to hear that dribble 🙂 There are people out there doing way worse than me so I feel my complaints would be an insult 🙂 I would be better is my acupuncturist of almost 30 years hadn’t taken a well deserved year to travel the country with her hubby. She deserves it. We did the cups that you were talking about. I hated it hehehe. I prefer to leave like a pile of well formed jello when I leave her sanctuary. I will be posting some of the pictures of her adventures with the Bible verses in the coming weeks. Her and myself are more of a barter system in the sense that I brought her love, baked goods and money for years in exchange for bootlegging her photos, with credit of course 🙂

        I have said a prayer for your “pitch” and I will thank God for hearing and answering our prayers 🙂

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      • The O’Jays! Ahh, thanks for that.
        I love cupping but get preferring to feel like well formed jello. Haha. Acupuncture is great. I’ve gone a few times and left feeling like I slept for three days. Parasympathetic nervous system activation…so good. I’m excited to see pictures of your sanctuary. I love that you get to barter for your treatments, that people still honor that. It’s hopeful. One of my energy healers offers a similar kind of deal.
        While I don’t fully understand the imbalance of earthly justice I’m fascinated by the x-factor; that mysterious element which allows the impossible to become possible despite whatever odds seem to be against us. I hear you that industry standards and degrees often pale in comparison to experience or even what’s right. There’s a big grey area. Faith has always filled in the gaps for me as I’m guessing it has for you too.
        I’m trusting the powers that be. Thanks for the prayers Mags. Let’s have sweet dreams of utopia. 😁❤️

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      • It is wonderful. She does the needles, sound therapy, tuning forks, and massage therapy. And more but those are the ones I partake in 🙂 I miss it but it is only a year 🙂 It gets all my Chaka khan in order hehehe 🙂 I am thanking God for your book getting published 🙂

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