The word of the day was Layoff Matrix. Mr. Robinson’s vocabulary lessons came to mind. Can you say Eviction Notice boys and girls? Nothing concrete, just the typical, passive, euphemistic scenarios part and parcel to public service. Since it started God did two things, He said (15 years in human service and you’d hear voices too): ‘Write and don’t worry. I’m taking you the long way.’ I said all kinds of things at first, way back when don’t break Bend, like eff, eff, eff, question mark, wtf and why did you drag me to graduate school in the first place when I could’ve just worked debt free retail. There’s no such thing, so I took a nap, dusted off my resume, kept writing and doing my job, part of which is restoring sanctuary in a system that is…not. We’re all indebted. In debt to we. The cosmic punchline.

I know everything will be fine because it always has been by design; God opens windows and I’ve been willing to do things like crawl, climb, work, practice patience, prudence, persist. No pixie dust. Paychecks because the world insists on sparing change. Devotions like this press my one tired button. Yes, greater good God. I have prayed for the grace to love people while cleaning closets, massive mansions, sprawling lawns baring pensions, plunging hotel bathroom toilets, turning tricks, down indecent proposals, watching unwatched kids, fall, rise up again, wrapping chicken parm subs, fingers rapping eel heads cause it’s all the same as it ever it was: Love. And I do, love you, but so help me God, I will never love the sound of the alarm. xo

p.s: don’t panic

*the photo is free stock