I used to get so mad at Buddhism and obviously still fight with most of my daily devotions. Buddha and Jesus, just laughing and taking naps while the world is killed to death by assholes and germs. Incidentally, those two things appear to be closely related. Hey guys! What the heck are we supposed to do about all this? I had to grow up to realize they’d left some crystal clear instructions. 
Hint: LOVE (even in mourning)
Fighting is how we survive, so it’s not all bad. It’s not all good either. Toxic positivity cheerleaders are the second cousins of Dracula’s brides. Hissss! Until I learned how to love, trust and forgive, I couldn’t understand how priests, monks and prophets are just like, relax, check out the sky, have a fish taco. Meanwhile I’m still asking: Can god go to work for me and pay all these debts?! Technically he did which makes our current reality more than a little confusing. It seems like the same reality just keeps repeating itself. Hmm.
I have no idea what we’re allowed to hope for in this life. But, feelings of fear, anger and exhaustion, when replaced with a solid twelve hours of sleep, half a lifetime of therapy and meditation, reconnect me with what I know in my heart to be true.
Love eventually wins 
Some stuff will go down 
Try to not freak out
Faith can sometimes look like or even disguise itself as apathy. Only you, God and the Southern Oracles know the truth about what’s going on in your heart. Don’t worry about the guy next to you. Being terrified, wounded and living a lie is its own punishment. Our energy, if we can find it and drag it into the light, has the power to sow peace. 
The son is so bright I can’t see and yet I haven’t walked into a pole. Amen! -corinthians something or other

xo

I never liked jelly beans but I’m missing someone or some thing I can’t quite name.

ps: the creamy clouds are from a series I took in Florida. Woke up in the dark on Good Friday and trotted around Anna Maria island with a bunch of other nocturnal shutterbugs.

6 thoughts on “Good Mourning

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