Validation doesn’t come until we no longer need it. Or maybe it does come, You look so great! You’re so good! Smart! Sweet! Pretty! Niiiiiiicccceee. Yea, so’s vanilla ice cream. If we don’t believe we’re great, good, nice all the validation in the world isn’t going to stick. When we feel worthless we’re basically Velcro for coarse words, sticky insults and those little blow darts of bitterness that occasionally shoot out of people’s mouths with no particular target but since we feel terrible the pointed poison pricks us right where it hurts. I just knew they were talking about me. Nope they were actually taking about one of the 9 hurricanes. Exactly how much destruction do you feel responsible for?
Jealousy has the word lousy right in it. We feel it because our heart is empty and we’re trying to fill it up by grinding down someone else’s good to make some kind of magic, ego-elixer for ourselves. If you’ve ever puréed a person’s happiness you know it tastes terrible. We usually do it because we feel stuck, don’t think we could ever figure out how to have what they have or that they might somehow suck up all the good life and there won’t be any left for us. The only time this is true is if you rent and have a small hot water heater. And even then, just wait an hour. It’ll replenish. Ok so privilege comes with a bigger tank and less wait. None of us get all of it, we just have to tune in to what we’ve got instead of pointing at what’s missing.
Anyway, this week I left one exchange receiving a verbal trophy from a very old competition I had never entered. Apparently I’ve won. Oh. Thanks? About an hour later I found myself dodging one of those poisonous darts. After years of practice I stayed neutral to both assessments because my okay-good sits like honey in an imaginary bowl just below my diaphragm. Aka the yellow chakra. Incidentally this is also where my fly muscles live for those of you who also have flying dreams. I’m no longer Velcro for coarse words but I do get a little weary sometimes playing dodge ball with other people’s fears and insecurities. Do you know and believe you’re infinitely loved beyond measure?
Once upon a time I said this great thing which also wants to live here: Equality doesn’t mean we all have to be the same or that love is measured out in taking turns. Equality means there is a gorgeous spectrum of alive diversity existing in a galaxy of unlimited potential and Love and we ALL have access to it.
You are loved and good. Now repeat it in front of a mirror till it sticks. xo
Photo Credit: https://m.gregorycolbert.com/en/
The original photo is by Gregory Colbert. The points of light showed up in the photo I took after a meditation at a retreat. I love the contrast of the image, the idea of humbling ourselves to each other but especially to what might be greater or different from ourselves. I love meeting all of Life with courage, respect and compassion. I love our parallels, how the light in one honors the light in others. I love pizza. What do you see when you look at this picture?